How You Make Them Feel

This reading from the gospel of Mark today is interesting, a bit for its circuitous nature.  It starts with Jesus on one side of the Sea of Galilee, here called a lake, crossing to the other side and teaching, then with the crowds pressing upon him, including the unclean woman with a hemorrhage, followed by Jesus going to the house of Jairus, one of the leaders of the synagogue, where his dead daughter is lying.

So imagine the scene.  If you haven’t been there, know that the Sea of Galilee is essentially an inland lake, fairly calm and tranquil most of the time.  Very beautiful, with gentle hills rolling down to the lake side.  Great places for large crowds to gather in an almost amphitheater style and hear the great Master teach and preach.  By this time in his ministry Jesus was pretty famous and throngs of people were gathering around him to learn of this great prophet.  Remember a time when you have been in a crowd waiting to see some famous person…  the anticipation, the excitement, the buzz in the crowd.  Maybe the Pope here in Rome, a head of state perhaps, royal, a a movie star, musician, sports hero, or some other dignitary.  There is an electricity in the air.  Everyone is anxious and excited, and perhaps a bit on edge, likely pushing, jostling for space, wanting to get close perhaps.  I suspect it was like that when the throngs of people gathered to see Jesus, to figure out who He was.

So in this case, we have Jesus on the lakeside, teaching and being interrupted by Jairus, a leader of the synagogue.  “My little daughter is at the point of death.  Come lay your hands on her so that she may be made well, and live.”  Mark’s gospel doesn’t say what Jesus replied but rather tells what he did, “…so he went with him…”  Imagine how Jairus must have felt.  Relieved.  But on the way, the crowds are pressing upon him and the unclean woman with a long-standing hemorrhage touches his cloak, “If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well…” she says.  And her hemorrhage stops, she was “healed of her disease.”  Imagine how she must have felt.  Healed.

Interestingly the story of the unclean woman with the hemorrhage is sandwiched into the middle of the story of Jairus’ daughter dying.  Two stories wrapped up in one pericope.  And then everything breaks loose.  Jesus, aware that power had gone forth from him, stops and says, “Who touched my clothes?”  The woman must have been terrified, for it says, “…she came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth.”  Imagine how she must have felt — one moment thrilled and relieved that she was healed and the next moment terrified that she has essentially ‘stolen’ power and healing from Jesus.  What will he do?  Will he chastise me publicly, reverse the healing?  And the disciples, ever protective of Jesus, “How can you say ‘Who touched me?’”  There were huge crowds of people…how would you know.   But Jesus was kind to the woman.  “Daughter, your faith has made you well.  Go in peace and be healed of your disease.”  The woman must have been so relieved.  And thankful.

And then they get to Jairus’ house, having been told that the daughter is dead, Jesus is of no use.  But Jesus tells them she is alive, and they laugh at him.  Laugh at the Master!  Yet He goes in and heals the little girl, and then says, ‘Don’t tell anyone, just give her something to eat!’

Give her something to eat!  What an unusual statement to make in this circumstance.  But that’s how Jesus operates.  He always gives us what we call in America, ‘a hooker.’  Some unexpected turn of phrase or unanticipated action.  Always catches us off guard.  Keeps us on our toes.

So what common lesson might we draw from these two stories jumbled together in one gospel reading?  Well, if you think about it, the emotions are up and down.  Jairus is fearful for his daughter’s life, Jesus doesn’t say anything but starts toward his house with him, is interrupted by the crowds and the woman.  Jairus then finds out his daughter is dead, then that she is alive; and Jesus says, ‘Feed her!’  Emotions up and down.  And think about the woman.  Dying, healed, elated, terrified, relieved, and loved.  “Daughter, your faith has made you well.  Go in peace, and be healed of your disease.” 

I think Jesus’ actions are the key to understanding the lesson here.  How Jesus made them feel. 

We don’t know the exact words Jesus said, but we understand the story and we know what he did.  And we know how he made them feel.  While the experience may have challenged both Jairus and the unclean woman a bit, ultimately, Jesus made them feel good.  And valued, and loved.  And if you think about it, that is what Jesus did most of the time.  He made people feel good, and valued, and loved.

I read an interesting article a few years ago that was an extended interview with Oprah Winfrey. It said that Oprah, by her count, had interviewed more than 37,000 people during her 25 years doing the Oprah Winfrey show in Chicago.  The interviewer asked her if there was one big takeaway.  She responded, “Absolutely.  There’s not a human being alive who doesn’t want — in any conversation, encounter, experience with another human being — to feel like they matter…people just want to be seen; they want to be validated.”

Think about your experiences, one with another.  Good and bad.  Doesn’t it all come down to that.  How we make people feel, and how they make us feel.  Our interactions one with another.  Many of you know that I am doctor in my first life.  I was once told that a patient described me as kind, very kind.  As I thought about it, I realized that that was the best compliment I could have.  Better than, ‘great doctor, he fixed my heart, he is really smart’ or anything else.  Very kind.  And I was honored.

How many times do our interactions with one another leave others feeling good?  Or bad?  Perhaps you had an interaction with someone recently that wasn’t what you wish it had been.  Or an interaction that was wonderful and uplifting.  How does that make you feel?  How does that make the other feel?  Jesus always made people feel good, and valued, and loved.

Maya Angelou, the great writer said, on reflecting about turning age 70, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  People will never forget how you made them feel.

Shouldn’t we, every day, in every action, in every encounter with others, make them feel as Jesus did?  Good, valued, and loved.  We are the face of Christ in the world today.

Amen.